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weirddreamsAlthough some of the population had yet to return after Jack defeated Chuck, Sam had a few intrusive thoughts as to why Ruby hadn't shown up yet. His number one fear had been if Chuck had thrown her into a place none of them could reach to erase her existance completely. He told Dean he needed to make a run for groceries once they drove back to the bunker. In reality, he had needed a smoke. He placed the cigerette between his lips once far enough from sight and lit it up. For the last couple of months, he had relied on the nicotine to calm his fears. Another part to it was that he dared the addiction to distract him from his negative thoughts. It did the trick most of the time. With a deep inhale in, he held it for a moment before exhaling the smoke with the winter air.
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Date: 2023-12-20 02:07 am (UTC)Her brow furrows at Sam’s explanation. She doesn’t doubt him even if she doesn’t remember that time absent. She reaches up, her palm flat against his jaw where his beard has grown out. “That explains this.” She slides her fingers back and forth over his beard. “It seems like a couple of days ago you took off with Dean to find some sort of solution to Chuck. I stayed at the bunker doing my own research.”
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Date: 2023-12-20 06:38 pm (UTC)Her touch is everything he has been longing for the last 365 days. He can't help but lean closer to her, wrap his arms around her, completely abandoning the cigarette between his fingers.
His beard is far from stubble or a few weeks of growth, long enough to be unflattering but not overly unkempt yet. He remains mostly unmoving otherwise. "I wouldn't be opposed to a shave." He looks deeply into her eyes. They had an agreement that started many years ago that she was the only one that could manage his hair. "I understand how it might seem that way. Jo, Donna, everyone else-- uh, the world is treating the day they returned as the same day they last remembered and treating it as if it's 2020 instead of 2021. On the bright side, Chuck is mortal now. He can't bother anybody anymore."
He pauses for a second, taking a deep breath while looking her up and down. "Welcome back, Ruby.'"
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Date: 2023-12-21 11:24 pm (UTC)She'd hate for him to go full mountain man. "Good. I miss being able to see your whole face." She can't trust that someone won't take way too much off. "So I'm the last one to return?" There's a note of confusion in her. "I knew you'd figure out some way to get rid of him. Everything else is normal? Okay?"
"I wish I remembered I'd been gone." For his sake.
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Date: 2024-01-01 02:06 am (UTC)Their weight into each other almost balances them out. He can't let her go just yet in fear of losing her again.
He has been accused of going full mountain man by Dean once already. "Let's go back home then." It feels right to call it home after so long without her there. She was and would always be a key factor for him to call it home. His lips pull into a sad but thankful smile. "As far as I know. Yes." He addresses her hint of confusion with a look that tries to be some assurance. "There's one key detail you missed: our Jack is now in charge in Heaven with Cas and Amara." Amara had been allowed to return to her own sense of self. Sam decided to give her the benefit of the doubt and trust she had the best interests of the world to guide Jack in his role alongside Cas. "They won't be back for a while." It's unclear how long it will take to tidy up Heaven.
"It's not your fault. What matters is that you're back." Dean can be the one to share how Mira was the only one left out there during the erasure of the world.
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Date: 2024-01-03 12:28 am (UTC)At least Dean managed to keep it somewhat in check. He really should have picked up on the smoking as well (though maybe he figured it was an acceptable vice given the circumstances). Even when they start toward the bunker, Ruby stays close, her arm wound around his waist, her hip pressed against his. Her brows go up at the new information. "I guess there's a lot to put right."
Once they get inside, Dean shares those new details and begrudgingly admits that he's glad Ruby is back. Instinctively, he lets them know there's food in the fridge, but he's aware they need some time alone.
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Date: 2024-01-04 02:40 am (UTC)He fishes for something in his pocket to reveal his last stick of gum that he pops in his mouth. It won't change the smell of his breath, but it will negate some of it.
Dean did a lot more than he might know. Sure there were times where the two of them being the last people in the world helped get each other on their last nerve yet they survived because they had each other. Sam can't help but turn to look down at Ruby with her hip against his and fall into step as they walk toward the bunker. It'd been too damn long since he'd been this close to her. He was not able to possess it all in fear it could be snatched away yet he managed a smile of assurance for her sake. "Yeah. There are a few loose ends still. But, how are you feeling right now? You're not feeling any lingering effects of being erased. Do you remember anything? A feeling? Anything?" Chuck may have mentioned he threw Ruby somewhere a little different to taunt Sam.
The best thing for the two of them is the space Dean gives them. Sam acknowledges Dean's attempt to remind him to eat by taking a second to search the cupboard for a protein bar. He hadn't exactly been taking care of himself in the last year.
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Date: 2024-01-05 01:07 am (UTC)Oh, there's no doubt Dean would have lost his mind and off'd himself if he hadn't had Sam around. Dean needs someone to take care of. Ruby pauses to think about Sam's questions. "The Empty. A least I think that's where I was. There was just...nothing. Dark and quiet. Nothing." For most of her existence she's been terrified of that nothing, of ceasing to exist. In the end, it wasn't terrifying, but she can see how a few hundred years would make it so. She takes a deep breath and notices it. She stops in her tracks. "Sam..."she presses her hand over her hear. "Sam, I--touch my forehead with your hand?" She suspects she'll feel warm to him.
He'll have to start taking care of himself.
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Date: 2024-01-08 12:47 am (UTC)He closes his eyes, resisting the urge to shake his head and shut Ruby out. He tells her when it had started and how readily available it had been compared to other vices. The reason why was because it took the edge off when it came to the headaches he would get thinking about her.
There's no question that even at their roughest points that they helped each other survive. Truth is Dean helped not spiral faster by being in his own head. There wasn't a lot in the lore about The Empty and Sam can't stop the frown lines on his face. After all, he firmly believed Ruby didn't deserve to be thrown there. He watches Ruby's expression to read what is there and he can at least make an educated guess that she doesn't want sympathy. Rather than words, he follows her next request in a more meaningful way and pulls her to him in a hug for both of them. She needs it and he starts to accept that she's not a figment of his imagination. A most familiar scent hits his nostrils.
Her return will definitely prompt him to be clean shaven by the morning.
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Date: 2024-01-08 11:15 pm (UTC)At some point, she'll talk to him about it and let him ask questions so that they have some sort of research on it for the future. As for whether she deserved to be there or not...it's not something she'd like to debate because she's pretty sure she actually deserves to be back in hell for past crimes. She lets herself be pulled into the embrace, mind reeling about the possibilities that are building in her mind. She's not sure if the body heat she feels is Sam's alone or her own contributing. She closes her eyes and tries to listen to his heartbeat, to whether she's got one of her own. Her brow furrows because she can't separate the two sounds, but when her chest gets tight and she has to take another deep breath, she tries to direct Sam's attention again. "Sam." She pulls away from him slightly. "Samuel. Something is either very, very wrong or very, very right."
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Date: 2024-01-09 01:35 am (UTC)Researching what had happened to Ruby would not put his mind at ease with how it happened but it would help him put it to rest (if that makes sense). There's no way he could possibly know the sensations Ruby is feeling. However, the proximity to her body does bring a sense of shared warmth easily imagined as a feeling of relief deep inside him. It takes him a second longer to realize Ruby's attempts to get his attention. His grip loosens and in turn, the look he gives her is nothing short of perplexed. He immediately runs his hands down both sides of her arms to hold her cautiously just before her elbows, a growing sense of concern even panic fills his eyes. "What? Hold on. Explain to me what you're feeling."
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Date: 2024-01-09 11:51 pm (UTC)She shakes her head at his question, struggling to put it into words that would have any meaning. "Not cold." Other than the outside temperature. "Like I'm choking or...being exorcised, but still me." She takes a great, gasping breath trying to get the choking feeling to subside. "Like I have to breathe and I can't remember how."
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Date: 2024-01-10 03:39 am (UTC)Even with her best attempt to describe the feeling, Sam can't puzzle it together right away. His first and only idea dawns on him when she mentions the sensation she is feeling is like she has to breathe. But he thinks to himself, that couldn't be. To test this budding theory of his, takes her hand into his and holds it for a second. Right away he could feel the warmth between his palms. To be absolutely sure it wasn't his own body heat, next he took his two fingers to her wrist and held it there for a moment. It's erratic but there is a pulse. The blue eyes that turn up to Ruby share that he is both unable to believe it and accepting or hopeful. "Can you tell me anything else? Does it feel like you're hexed or is it that... that you're experiencing what it's like to be alive?"
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Date: 2024-01-11 12:15 am (UTC)Deep down, she knows what it is, but the idea of being the only one in possession of a live body, more importantly, this body, is too good to be true. They're both in denial because the idea is absurd in the best way. She's struggling to remember what it felt like to have a stable body temperature. Is she supposed to feel warm? Or hot? All she can say for sure is that she doesn't feel cold, and that's been her normal for the last decade. She barely even processes that he's feeling for a pulse. It's erratic because she is on the verge of panicking; her heart is trip-hammering in her chest so fast. She shakes her head at his first question and pauses, holding her breath to try to assess. "I can't--I don't remember it being like this." Maybe because she'd always had another consciousness more concerned about the sudden possession than the normal beating of their heart. "I can't--" she takes Sam's free hand in hers and presses it to the left side of her chest. "Is it supposed to be like that? This?"
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Date: 2024-01-11 02:07 am (UTC)It becomes very clear that the one thing she or they both need to do is calm down, take a step back and think about it logically. Not necessarily in that order. Between the two of them, he has a better chance of that as whatever it is she is feeling, he isn't feeling anything extraordinary. He allows her to move his heart over her chest where her heart would (does) beat. He goes quiet for a moment to allow nothing else to interrupt the truth of the matter in coming to light. One thing it confirms is that her heart is in fact beating. His mouth opens. "This is what I'd expect from a body that was alive...
Take your time. Do you feel anyother symptoms?" Calm and collectively, as he can be in the the moment, asked.
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Date: 2024-01-11 10:51 pm (UTC)She's quiet, trying to think about anything else she can tell Sam about how she feels. "I don't--is there something else I should be feeling? I've never--all my alive bodies have had other souls in them and those souls just handled all of this."
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Date: 2024-01-12 12:18 am (UTC)He grabs her hands with his to collect them in between them; he takes a breath to encourage her to mirror his actions. After about five seconds, he releases it. Then he repeats the process once more. In retrospect, Jack has been more akin to a son for longer than he's been God. They can take their time wrapping their heads about things. The important thing right now is Ruby getting control of her new state before she makes it worse.
His thumb strokes the back of her hand, encouraging the calm that starts to take hold of her when she focuses on his question. She might believe that her answer gives him no information at all, but it clarifies two things. First, she's not in harm's way. One thing his subconsciousness grasps onto is that normally demons that come back to life usually succumb to the wounds their hosts suffered at any point of time. Jack must have fixed that. The second thing requires him to pause to remember the name of the girl Ruby's body used to belong to. It comes easily now.
"Chelsea no longer resides in you. If I'm correct in my assumption, everything belongs to you now. These are all your feelings and reactions." His hands squeeze hers gently between his.
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Date: 2024-01-13 10:15 pm (UTC)She's definitely not in harm's way, and without looking at the scar where a bullet wound once resided, she can't tell him for sure what's going on, but she's not bleeding externally.
She shakes her head a little. "No. I'm the only one in here." Even if Chelsea were to be completely silent, Ruby would be able to feel her. She assumes that Chelsea went to heaven a long time ago. "I haven't had to deal with remembering how to breathe in over six hundred years." So she doesn't doubt this is all her panic. She takes another deep breath then looks down at herself. "Do I--look the same to you?" She wants to make sure he still likes the way she looks.
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Date: 2024-01-14 12:20 am (UTC)He sees her headache as confirmation that nothing else is wrong. After he ceases instructing her to take breaths, he rubs the side of her arm for continued assurance. He relaxes the more he can see the panic subside from Ruby.
"Good. Focus on that. Just keep taking breaths and don't think about it too hard. You're doing great." He feels she's calm enough that she won't mind if he takes a closer look at her. He looks for any visible wounds on her before he lifts the bottom of her shirt high enough to see the old bullet wound underneath. Inspecting it, he sees nothing that causes any worry. He releases the fabric almost as soon as he lifts it. He knows right away she doesn't mean if saw any infection or not by her question and his response is to shake his head. "You're the same as I remember you--nothing has changed." Especially not in the way he feels about her.
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Date: 2024-01-14 05:32 pm (UTC)She doesn't mind at all, though it takes her a second to figure out why he's lifting her shirt to look at her torso. She remembers why after a moment and takes his expression to mean everything is okay. No, that wound has been more scar and not open to infection for a long time. She's not worried about it, but his reaction to her. His confirmation that she looks the same and that things haven't changed, makes her relax a little. She leans into him, her forehead resting against his chest, her hands on his hips. "Did you ask him to do this?" There's no judgment, of course. It will be a gift she's grateful for; she's just curious about the why. Of course, neither of them can know that the why lies more in Jack listening and paying attention to things they don't realize he sees or hears. The why is Jack giving them both a gift neither of them has fully explored.
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Date: 2024-01-16 04:24 am (UTC)Afterwards, he presses his hand over the fabric of the shirt to help what he assumes would be the sensation of cold air to subside. He means what he says about everything being okay, as long as she feels it is. Eventually that hand moves from her torso to hold her close as she leans into him to stroke the back of her head; his hips gravitate close to her body. Now that he knows he's not imagining it, he can feel some of her heat transfer on to himself. "To bring you back? Yes, I asked Jack to bring you back. But I didn't know it was possible to have your body come back to life. Believe me, I wish I did. It had to be all Jack." Sam makes a note to thank Jack for doing this for them. The why, they will have to ask him for.
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Date: 2024-01-16 11:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-01-20 05:22 pm (UTC)His hand doesn't drop more than from her head to her shoulder when her forehead moves away from his. They aren't going to find any more answers standing around thus he agrees with her with a simple nod. Besides it's warm inside and he could confirm a few more things about her newly beating heart. "Anything you say. As long as you let me check out a few things to make sure there's no ill effects of your being newly alive." They have some supplies in the med bay. Mostly he'd like to see that her heart is normal and double check her old bullet wound. Maybe he'll have her sit down and share a meal with him.
Back in their room, he brushes his teeth with a new electric toothbrush he had more or less stolen for a few minutes. After some mouthwash, he sat on the bed to look over to Ruby preparing homemade shaving cream. Its scent was one of the many things to tell his senses that Ruby was really home. His blue-green eyes couldn't turn away from her.
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Date: 2024-01-23 11:08 pm (UTC)It doesn't take her long to mix it up. She keeps the components ready. She adds the lavender last, letting the scent permeate into the cream. She looks to him once it's mixed up. "Alive looking weird on me?"
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Date: 2024-01-24 04:00 am (UTC)He knows she's taking matters seriously so he spares her the mild disapproval and taps her to let her know he's headed back. As much as he'd like to run more tests on her, he figures it would be better to wait until the surprise dies down. The two of them need to unwind. He cooperates with her offer to shave him by bringing along a fresh face towel and the instrument. Should her stomach rumble, he would offer to make her something to eat.
He sits on the edge of the bed when she finally faces him. The question prompts him to shake his head. "Nothing like that. In fact, it's the opposite. You're...glowing."
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Date: 2024-01-26 02:13 am (UTC)She gives him a dubious look at his compliment. "Like Cas?" she suggests as she brings the bowl of warm shave foam and the brush to the nightstand. She puts it on there and picks up a mound of cream on the brush then steps between his legs to brush the cream over his face slowly, carefully.
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Date: 2024-02-03 10:32 pm (UTC)First, he gives his own confused look towards Ruby when Cas comes up. Then he shakes his head when the misunderstanding is more clear. "Like I can see-- To give it to you straight, the way your skin glistens." That's called sweat, Sam. He closes his mouth once the cream is spread around his jawline but his eyes continue to speak volumes. He feels deeply happy about her return.
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Date: 2024-02-04 07:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-02-04 09:27 pm (UTC)He smiles, sheepish but standing by his assessment. "It's been a while since I've talked to you." He reaches for her hand to give it a squeeze of assurance before releasing it. He tilts his head back and to the side a little to help her get a close shave. The whole time he can't help but remain silent and take in the smell of lavender and sulphur from his proximity to her. He's able to relax like he was at a spa.
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Date: 2024-02-06 12:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-02-07 02:42 am (UTC)It's just like Ruby to shake what he's keeping to himself out of his head. He closes his eyes for a moment, letting her continue to shave in silence, deep breath in then out. "Yeah, okay." He starts immediately with the events from his perspective after people started to vanish, the empty buildings, how quickly the food was a situation before getting to the crux of his smoking. Like the situation, there isn't any one thing or point to grasp onto. He finally adds one more tidbit, looking around the bedroom. "Most nights it was hard to sleep in our room."
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Date: 2024-02-08 01:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-02-08 02:56 am (UTC)He may not see it, but with his grief beard removed, he definitely feels more like his old self under the gaze of the very women he loves. It's a slight smile that he gives her from under the damp towel as it reveals his fresh face. There's a weight off his shoulders because he can be so honest with her. She is no longer a notion he talks to when no one is around to keep himself from spiralling too far (though he would admit some days he knew he was crazy talking to Ruby when she wasn't truly there.) He meets her half way into the kiss, after they part, shaking his head. "Let's stay here. This is our room. I can't change how I felt when you weren't here, but I also know that this is our place to sleep and it shouldn't change."
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Date: 2024-02-13 06:21 pm (UTC)He'll probably realize it tomorrow when he looks in the mirror in the morning. In any case, he definitely seems lighter, more relaxed, like he's taken a deep breath after holding it for a long time. He's not crazy; he was trying to stay sane. Her smile is soft and she nods at his decision. "We'll make good memories to replace the bad ones," she promises then leans in to kiss him again. "Starting now."
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Date: 2024-02-19 01:01 am (UTC)Its much more than that. A year of pain takes more than a second to release subconsciously. He can't reply with words right away in that regard, but he has the freedom to pour himself into the kiss. His tongue teased the bottom of her lip to grant him passage.
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Date: 2024-02-23 04:19 pm (UTC)He can take all the time he needs. She's not going anywhere. That freedom he feels makes her relax, makes things more normal, and assures her that despite what he's gone through and what he's feeling, they're okay. She grants him access to her mouth, deepening the kiss as she moves closer, straddling his hips, one knee on each side of him. She glides her hands over his freshly shaven jaw and tangles her fingers in his hair.
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Date: 2024-02-23 10:11 pm (UTC)He moans at somewhere between the access he gets to her mouth and the friction of her body against his. His tongue explores the inner walls of her mouth before pulling back to a passionate kiss. The scent of the aftershave she used on his transfers to her hands into his hair and just about shakes the alluring all over them. He deeply inhales in response to her hands in his hair.
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Date: 2024-03-12 11:33 pm (UTC)Ruby has to break the kiss to take a gasp of air. She rests her forehead against his then reaches for his hand to press it against her chest. "Should it be beating this fast?" she asks him breathlessly. "Does it always feel like this to you when I kiss you?"
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Date: 2024-03-18 02:40 am (UTC)He meets her where her forehead rests against his and together they spend a moment catching their breath. His mind snaps back to reality, moves from her lips to the warmth he can feel radiating from her skin under the cloth. His thumb and index finger press against her skin to gain an accurate reading. "If I had to guess, it does come pretty close to it." His words are slow to steady the racing heart in his chest. "I can take a closer look if you remove your shirt. Just to be safe." He smirks to one side to let her know he's not afraid it's anything else.
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Date: 2024-03-19 08:42 pm (UTC)It's going to take her a little while to get used to this human body and the way it reacts. Right now it feels like her heart is trying to hammer out of her chest and tripping along way too fast. However, that moment to catch her breath, lets her focus on other things like the way her skin feels overheated in the best way where he touches her or the way her breath catches when his fingers press against her skin. Some of the feelings are familiar, but amplified somehow. Every touch, every breath, every kiss feels better and more. At his request, she grabs the hem of her shirt and pulls it over her head, tossing it across the room. Her torso is bare, her gaze watching him, her breathing a little too fast. Her eyes aren't black (yet) but they are glazed with desire. "Just to be safe," she echoes his words.
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Date: 2024-03-25 11:24 pm (UTC)He returns his hand to where she had pressed it before with the layer was removed. He gives her a grin behind what should be considered a smile of reassurance. Their gazes lock. Desire and longing must be the same family of emotion because his mirrors hers. He counts the beats of her heart per second in his head as compared to his own and follows with nod after many moments. "I don't think we have to worry. If your heartbeat ... unnerves you-" he chooses the word carefully but almost slips by suggesting a word Ruby isn't a fan of: scared. "We can take it slow. Maybe...it wouldn't be a bad thing to go to the gym or a walk outside of town. Get your heart pumping more."
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Date: 2024-03-26 11:09 pm (UTC)